


Neglect

by asheface



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Other, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 22:12:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8303116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asheface/pseuds/asheface
Summary: After meeting with the twins in the Feywild, Syldor does some deep thinking on his relationship with his children. All three of them.





	

It had been years since the last time they met, face to face. The cold reception from the previous encounter had not subsided at all, but had grown, at least on the side of the twins. Syldor was too old to spend his time being bitter about what his children had grown to be, but somehow, when they spoke to him, he felt anger and hurt bubble up in his stomach. And once more, with Syngorn deep in the Feywild, it had threatened to boil over.

“If I could pull your blood from my veins and give it back to you, I would!”

That was what Vex’ahlia had said to him. In the moment it stung, and his stomach twisted in knots, but he had managed to remain outwardly composed. Her face was strained in fury and resentment, an expression he had seen on her often. She had always been the more vocal child when it came to the twins’ disdain for him, and he often wondered where a personality that fiery could have come from. 

Vax’ildan, while he had not said much during their encounter, would not take his eyes of Syldor for the entire visit. His dark eyes, which Syldor knew were a trait that he had passed to the twins, were cold and not unlike daggers that seemed to pierce into Syldor’s flesh. It was unnerving, but not entirely unexpected.

All in all, a completely predictable reunion; he shouldn’t have expected anything more from his ungrateful offspring, though he couldn’t help but sigh, breathing out any hope that he had harbored for a bridge between them. It was useless to try to reach out to them, for any hand he would reach out would be slapped away. Syldor had told himself a long time ago that it was foolish to think that his children would ever come to accept that he had given them everything they needed, and this meeting would be yet another nail in the coffin on that subject.

But during the visit, when he felt his façade of calm start to falter, his anger towards the twins nearly spilling out of his mouth, he looked to Velora. Sweet, innocent Velora, sat upon Vex’ahlia’s lap and clutching at her precious Owlbear doll, and listening to every single drop of venom trail from her half-siblings. At first, Syldor was even more angered that they had the gall to say such things in front of his youngest child, but the look on her face made him give pause.

Velora was looking at him, her lips in a small, quivering pout, and her eyes shining from tears that threatened to fall. But it was not because Vex’ahlia and Vax’ildan had been so cruel to her father. No, Syldor saw it in the way she tightened her grip on her doll, the way she leaned into Vex’ahlia’s chest, the way her free arm attempted to wrap protectively around her half-sister. Her eyes, dark like his own but softer, looked into his own as if to say, “What have you done?” In this moment, Syldor felt his heart fall. Despite him being with Velora from birth – raising her, loving her – she had decided to fall in line with siblings that she had barely known, and he did not understand why. When he looked again at the faces of his first children, he saw things that he did not see before: Eyes shimmering with tears that they dared not let fall, jaws locked in place so as to choke out any weakness that threatened to escape their throats, and a curled inward posture that showed pain and hurt. How had he not seen these things before? Even worse, when did these things start showing in Velora? Syldor felt a panic flutter in his heart, but he had to cage that for now. They needed him, and this time, Syldor had realized it in time to act. He told them what they needed to know, about the dangers that lie ahead, and he even attempted to reach out, tell them to not become martyrs, to be safe. He was not sure if it was accepted, but at the moment it didn’t matter. So he sent them on their way, and he felt a pang of worry in his heart. If they did not make it back…

\--

Later in the evening, Syldor sat at his desk and stared down at the numerous documents in front of him. For once, he allowed himself a moment to simply stare into space, taking in the events of the day, and thinking back on what he had learned about his children, all three of them. He thought back to the look on Velora’s face and winced. Was he making the same mistakes with her as he did with the twins? And for that matter, what mistakes had he made with them, exactly? Try as he might, he could not wrack his brain for the answers, and his train of thought was interrupted by the soft shuffling of slippers behind him.

“Papa?”

He turned his head to see Velora, dressed in her nightgown, slightly askew from tossing and turning, and her Owlbear doll tucked under her arm. He looked to the feather in her hair, and was once again reminded of the twins. Were he not so tired, he would have smiled, but instead he turned towards the little girl in front of her.

“Velora, you should be in bed.”

“I couldn’t sleep…” She rubbed her eyes.

Syldor briefly glanced back at the papers on his desk, but instead of turning his back on his daughter to continue in his work, he stood up, and walked over to Velora. “Well, I shall put you to bed then. Come.”

“Can you carry me, Papa?” She held out her tiny arms, nearly dropping her favorite toy on the ground.

This time he did allow himself a small smile, and he reached down to pick her up in her arms. She smiled back, and put her arms around his shoulders for security.

“I liked seeing Vax and Vex today.”

“Did you, now?”

“Mmhmm! But they seemed so sad…”  
Syldor nodded somberly as he made his way up the stairs. “Were you sad as well, darling?”

Velora nodded, and rested her head on his shoulder. “Papa, why are they angry at you?”

Syldor paused at the top of the stairs. “I don’t know. Perhaps something I did in their childhood.” He continued on down the hallway.

“Did you not let them have dessert?” She asked.

“Sometimes.”

“Did you make them write lines on the chalkboard?”

“Only when they were misbehaving.”

There was a slight pause, and when Velora spoke again, her voice was quiet. “Did you ignore them?”

Syldor stopped in his tracks once more. Cautiously, he turned his head to look at his daughter. “Perhaps I was not very… attentive.”

Velora nodded. “I understand. I get sad when I’m ignored too.”

Syldor felt his heart sink. So this is what had caused Velora to cling to the twins, companionship in neglect. It was true that Syldor was a very busy man, and as such he didn’t have much time to spend with his family, but had it really been that much? 

“Velora, do you feel ignored?”

She looks down at her doll, and fiddles with its arms. “You used to read to me every night. Mama does it sometimes, but I like it better when you read. I want to ask you, but Mama says you’re busy, and maybe next time, but next time you’re busy too.”

Syldor pauses, and adjusts his hold on his daughter as he begins to walk once more towards her room.

“Papa?”

“Yes?”

“I had an idea. For when Vax and Vex come back.”

“Oh?”

“Mmhmm, you wanna hear it?”

Syldor reaches the door to the room, and turns the handle. “Of course.”

Velora beams proudly. “Maybe, if you let them know you love them, then they won’t be sad anymore.”

Syldor crosses the distance to the bed, and gently lays her down on the mattress. He looks down at her face, and strokes her cheek with the back of his fingers. “I don’t think it will be that simple, darling.”

Velora frowns. “Well… if it doesn’t work, you can say it again and again until it does.”

Syldor chuckles a little, and he brings the blanket up and over her chest, tucking both her and her doll into bed. “I don’t know, they seemed pretty cross with me.”

“Well maybe they don’t know you love them yet.” She furrows her brow slightly. “You do love them, do you?”

Syldor presses his lips against her forehead. “I do, in my own way… Perhaps I shall tell them, but… we may need more time to think.”

Velora puffs out her cheeks. “Well I hope that’s soon! I don’t like seeing them so sad.”

“I don’t either. Thank you.” He turns his body to get up and leave, but he stops. “Velora?”

“Yes Papa?”

He smiles and reaches for a book on the bedside table. “Would you like me to read to you tonight?”

Velora scrunches her face. “Hmmm, I don’t know Papa, I’m a very busy lady.”

“Well, if you’re too busy…”

“Wait! I think I have an opening in my schedule. You may read.” She says, nearly jumping out of the bed.

Syldor chuckles again, his eyes warm and loving, and opens the book. “Very well, my lady. Now, chapter one…”


End file.
